written by Mick Ukleja

Forget Resolutions and Think Next Chapter

We all have that feeling that something needs to change.  And that’s why resolutions are popular.  But let’s face it.  Statistics highlight the tremendous failure rate of resolution roulette.

If you are like most people you will find yourself huddling around 3 or 4 resolutions. Usually they involve some kind of improvement on a bad habit — that usually doesn’t change.

Is it possible that 2016 could be a watershed year?  Could this be the year to connect to a more authentic you?  Could you end next year with deeper relationships that go way beyond “networking”?  And how about taking that deeper spiritual journey?  That’s the great connector that uncovers what inspires and moves you.

This is where you find the courage to live the life you often dream about, rather than letting it fade like the morning fog before the end of the new month.

How do you take the steps to a life with more energy, more passion, and more focus?

Replace big thinking with purpose thinking. Here are 5 mindsets.

  1. Focus on the right stuff. It’s tempting to just start out taking on something big which usually becomes overwhelming.  On the other hand, don’t expect ideas to happen in the cracks and crevices of your busy life.  FOCUS. What are you trying to create? There is a difference between being effective and being efficient.  You can do the wrong things and still be efficient, but you won’t be effective.  You can‘t solve problems you haven’t defined.  So focus on the right stuff.
  1. Focus on the right relationships. Those are the ones that are stimulating and challenging. The reverse side is that you will need to eliminate some relationships that drain your energy and effectiveness.

“Identify potential energy drains and immunize yourself against them. Usually it will be a person or two.” Henry Cloud

That leads to………

  1. Focus on what you should eliminate. This means pruning those things that retard your focus.

Pruning is a part of God’s economy.” Albert Einstein

It’s essential to trim the tree of your life to allow for new growth. What do you need to avoid? Doing this will allow full engagement in what you should be doing – engagement that is otherwise blocked by anxiety and fear.

  1. Focus on what you should sustain. This is where resilience and grit come into play. What is the most important thing for you to spend your time on?  If it’s important it will also be tempting to quit. Start doing this now…before the new year gets rolling. You will build up valuable momentum that will get you flowing into the new year. Don’t spend frenetic energy writing down goals, itemizing in detail what you want to achieve.

“The hero’s journey begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Eric Kaufman

  1. Focus on where as much as what. Where do you want to spend your time?  Maybe it’s a new venture, or a new idea.  Perhaps you want to do some writing.  Maybe it’s focusing on your family. Where becomes a larger picture. It’s not a to-do list. It’s where you want to focus.

Putting a list of goals before focus is both distracting and disconnected. So don’t worry about goals and resolutions.  Focus on your time and where you are spending it.  What are the 3 to 5 things you want to focus on?  Let your calendar reflect what’s important to you in those 3 to 5 areas.

“Most people use their schedules to let other people set their agendas.”

When you focus on your important areas, you discover you are doing what’s important without “guilting” yourself into it.

Here’s the Bonus.

Put as much energy into being yourself as you might have done being all things to other people.  You will find out real fast if they like you or not.  If they don’t, they will leave.  This provides a whole lot of room for people who love who you are–and everything you’re not.  These are the ones who stick around and build your community.

So this year, don’t be a resolutionist. They don’t last long and quickly settle back into a life of complacency.  Be a revolutionist. Before you pick your battles, it’s important to pick your war.

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12.10.2015

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