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written by Mick Ukleja

8 Guides For Thriving In Turbulent Times

Let’s start with the obvious. We all experience turbulence. There is no perfect day unless you are on drugs! However, the core issue is not the detour, obstacle, or problem. It’s what we do with them.

So often a problem comes in the form of

  • An overwhelming pressure
  • A major setback
  • A bad decisions
  • A negative medical report
  • A divorce
  • A job loss
  • Alienation from family members
  • Bankruptcy
  • An accident

How do we develop the resilience to not just survive, but to thrive in these situations? How do we gain the hope and help to keep going forward toward a meaningful “second act.”

This is what I know. Sooner or later we all hit the skids. We all fall into the pressure cooker. At some point we all wind up with our backs against the wall. So what can you do?

Here are 8 guides that will help you thrive during turbulent times.

  1. Refuse to Die! When you’re down some people will write you off. Refuse to be labeled. Losses may deepen you, but they don’t define you. They are a part of your maturity, but they are not your identity.

 Refuse to fade into a life of perpetual inconsequence.

You matter greatly! And, yes, we need you.

  1. Manage your Fears! Everybody has fears. Manage your fears by doing something about them. Identify them.  Write them down. Knowing them well is integral to managing them. Which fears are real threats?
  • Move towards them.
  • Identify them.
  • Deal with them.
  • Dismiss the rest.
  1. Get Motivated! Pain, failure, loss, and embarrassment are great motivators. Embrace the pain and you will internalize the lesson.

Walk toward the barking dog.

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07.21.2016
written by Mick Ukleja

7 Distorted Thinking Patterns That Contribute To Anxiety

Dr. Richard Leahy, a well-known therapist specializing in anxiety said,

The average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950’s.”

We’ve since discovered that the problem is not limited to a particular age group.  It’s widespread and epidemic.

The problem attacks the body but germinates in the head!  Much of our anxiety comes from telling ourselves a bad story.  It usually goes something like this:

  • You’re not smart enough for this job. 
  • You’re too young, too old, don’t have any experience, can’t learn new things fast enough.. 
  • It’s just a matter of time before you are exposed. 
  • People wouldn’t respect you if they really knew you”  

The dialogue is endless chatter.

If you change your story you can change your life.  How?

  • Recognize the voice in your head
  • Listen to what that voice is saying
  • Identify faulty thinking patterns

Here are 7 thinking distortions that fuel our anxiety. Start dumping them today.

  1. Absolute Thinking – Sometimes this is referred to as “polarized thinking.”  It’s the “always” and “never” talk, and it usually leads to victimhood.
  • I’ll never find someone I can count on. 
  • People always let me down.
  • This relationship is over. 
  • I cannot be happy without him/her. 

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07.14.2016
written by Mick Ukleja

4 Power Habits That Will Change Your Life

Change-1If we don’t learn good habits, life becomes more difficult.  We have a choice:

Get hard on ourselves so life becomes easier, or get easy on ourselves resulting in life getting harder.

Successful people choose good habits over a stagnate life.  At first it might not seem like you are accomplishing much – but don’t be fooled.

“Small hinges open big doors.”

Not all good habits are created equal.  Some are more powerful than others.  Here are 4 power habits that will strengthen your confidence, help you get what you want, and result in a satisfying journey.

  1. Embracing Life vs. Resisting Life.  When things aren’t working, our first action is often resistance.  Instead of resisting, take a moment to consider.  What is not working, and why is it not working?  This kind of information is valuable.

Tough times can be used to disrupt stagnate patterns in thinking.

If we embrace the disruption it can have a “purifying” effect that knocks off the rust and barnacles we naturally collect on our daily voyage.  Embracing life is resisting stagnation.

Life may wreck your plans when your plans are about to wreck you.

Pay close attention.

  1. Affirming Yourself vs. Degrading Yourself.  One of the most common ways to degrade ourselves is to ask the wrong questions.  Wrong questions are disempowering.  They immediately change our subconscious thought patterns from positive to negative, or vice versa.  They are powerful!

Question: “Why can’t I lose weight?”  Answer: “Because you’re a pig!”

Question: “Why can’t I do things right?”  Answer: “Because you’re not smart!”

Question: “Why am I so broke?”  Answer: “Because you’re a loser!”

Ask a bad question and you’ll get a bad answer.  This is how our subconscious mind works.  Since the conscious mind programs the subconscious — take charge.  Good questions lead to productive answers.

What are the top 2 things I can do to lose weight?”

“What is a better way to do this?”

“What are 3 things I can do to increase my cash flow?”

Asking the right question is empowering.

  1. Brainstorming vs. Blame-storming .  Blame-storming is using our creative abilities to come up with reasons why something is not our fault.  This creates an emotional roadblock to healthy living called resentment. It comes from the Latin “re” and “sentire” , “to feel over and over again.”  It’s almost exclusively internalized which makes it different from anger even though it can accompany the emotion.
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07.07.2016
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